You made mistakes in your marriage and this became the window of opportunity for this psycho friend of yours to come in and rob you of your marriage and family. If that bitch or mofo sociopath does anything illegal whatsoever — you report them and you press charges. You are going to need support! I know that for most people, it can be difficult to act fake, as we are programmed as human beings to be kind, caring, to care about others welfare. See rule 3. Turn the music up loud to female singers, (Adele is great, some are very angry about previous relationships) AND dance, tell him this is your favourite song(s) He was now minipulating me to go with him all the time and stay out with him at the bar. Now ALL Women are psychotic? Mind Control Manual I hate to say this, because I don’t wish your wife any unhappiness, however, guaranteed the mask is coming off in front of her too.. She is probably still in denial because realizing she made a horrible mistake by leaving you for him is probably really difficult for her to wrap her head around. It isnt just what she has done it is also the betrayal that burns. And as it is different to the reality he can do no further damage. To everyone but me. Very lost. I grew used to this pattern, and would call police prior to his arrival. But you CAN change YOU. I realised that his motive was ‘control’ and his fear was, I therefore had to change my own tact to deal with him. First take away my baby, second hire blonde lookalike nanny from norway on a tourist visa to care for our baby while he works 18 hours a day and parties on weekends.. now he is claiming that I was violent towards him and coaching our 3 year old to say on recorded Skype calls that I was “hitting daddy”. A quick guide – what to expect healing and recovery! If you need to communicate, keep it short, stick to the facts (no opinions or personal thoughts) and communicate as if you know your communication is going to be read out in court. ! We are imperfect. In fact, often they will spend their lives trying to continue to manipulate you! Get professional help if you need to. She’s CRAZY.”. So it wasn’t like I even had “self confidence” or a lot of self worth left. He is not a monster but rather a barking chuahua. Yet you manipulating his emotions and playing games with his emotions clearly show u r the psycho one. I was married and had 3 small children. its not as cut and dry as the few behaviors you mentioned. ( Log Out /  Do not look for closure from the sociopath! If you fear for your physical safety, take whatever steps are necessary. The manipulative input can no longer come your way when you stop having any contact with the person. I’m an intelligent person, but if I’d run into him in the hallways, I’d just give him a breezy smile like I didn’t have a brain in my head. I caught him in several lies and he caused term oil at work all the time. Lying to him showed me something else too. Derail him, by saying one thing, and then changing and saying something else. you I was living in the house we use to share however he had already moved out back home to give us space but I still wasn’t aloud to leave that house. There is no "cure" for a sociopath. There is no treatment for sociopathy/psychopathy. This Logic Bulletin explains to you what happens when you impose your No Contact Regime and how you can expect the narcissist to respond. Don't waste your energy. DO NOT ALLOW THE THREAT TO FRIGHTEN YOU INTO SUBMISSION. (More on that below.) I met him when I was passing a rough time in my life. Have absolutely ZERO COMPASSION — its hard for empathetic people to hurt people — but if you do not attack and defend yourself HARD against the sociopath — they will go out of their way to destroy you and ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT BECAUSE ITS A GAME FOR THEM. Report him for tax evasion? Despite this, he would still be outside of my house, yelling through the letter box, standing in my back garden yelling in the garden. As with your ex,he’s in major victim mode now,he knows he’s lost,and they hate that most of all. The only way to fight a sociopath is by fighting fire with fire.. You have been tricked, deceived and manipulated. She told me he hadn’t dumped her by text at all and that she was indeed still seeing him occasionally. I think he is so angry about this, that there will be no contact anymore. A real friend wouldn’t leave your side no matter what happens or what is said. Hi jay, i know it hurts. He knew it, but I think if he could get me to read porn, he could then turn it around on me and then say “See? Sadly he will always hurt you. Always try to be one step ahead of the game. Many survivors write that what they want more than anything is … And you remove his control OVER YOU. You were not fully informed. I’m currently involved with a sociopath and f*cking with his mind the way he did mine WORKS. A sociopath is determined, and for some people no contact is impossible to achieve, and simply causes further distress, and further damage to your life. As that was happening, I would know that he would show up at my house. The one bit of proof I have, video documentation of our lovemaking. I plan on waiting until it has been a full year to start getting even. Oh, and my favorite, I started to play stupid. The cursing actually had no effect whatsoever, telling him I hated him…not a flinch. I shouted him off my property. Im writing a book,I’m sure we could compare some things.Yes just play him,like he played you. he had sent me the odd text after we had been apart for about 4 months. They thrive on your fear. DO NOT SHOW FEAR EVER, Tell him what he wants to hear – then do the opposite (in actions). I have nothing now. I haven’t allowed any more avenues open for him to get in. SOLO BUILD IT! I really appreciate everyones stories here– they really help. Why is the article written as if the he sociopath are men only. Do sociopaths realise that they are sociopaths? . Positivagirl, what are your thoughts about sociopathy and smoking marijuana? “No.” Whenever a sociopath tries to manipulate you to do something for them, just say “No.” You don’t need to justify or explain yourself; just say no and walk away. I told him that I didn’t believe him and I would find out the truth. anyway after he got use to the idea I was oh my own house and one Minuit things seem normal and then all it takes is me to say or do one thing that’s not what he wants and the war starts like you wouldn’t believe. Are you realizing that the group you are in may be a cult? He said no,he was the one who was bullied. You have been through enough. i play his games and give him his own … Learning about mind control and how sociopaths treat others is a great way to prevent yourself from becoming a victim of these social predators. Due to the fact that they leave us all a bad name, I will probably never come out as a sociopath and will just live my life the way I have been living it. After speaking to her I realised that everything he had told me about her and their life together was a raft of lies, with perhaps 5%-10% of truthfulness Divorcing a sociopath means you will have to be ready for what you likely endured during the marriage. My ex always jumps in to correct him — but my son doesn’t know how to lie yet. address is totally safe. I reported him to the police for the assault and there was a canada wide warrant for his arrest. But after I still blamed myself for everything and was still letting her control me and still trying to work out how she could feel no remorse for using me, isolating me and wasting my life. you mean women want things like integrity, respect, kindness, honesty, and love? Documented. Going no contact for me meant losing my whole biological family for a season. Just him. how dare those crazy women be so crazy. And God help me I wish he cared. Play him at his own game, and he will soon get tired. Cease contact . Store them in a friend's house. Just how that’s done,God only knows!!!! Hi Maria, he will NEVER EVER drop playing the game. I have to disagree on the smoking of weed making them worse. Lik e you I am not a liar, and feel uncomfortable doing so. What can I do. Never place yourself at further risk of harm. Even though he would say “I want nothing more to do with you.” And I knew it wouldn’t end unless I tried something different. So by showing you are not scared of them and will expose them. I like the idea though of giving him a taste of his own medicine. Cut him off. The scary side was something I had never experienced with him, although he had been nasty and aggressive to me on the phone when I was on a ‘girlie’ holiday, upon reflection this was probably because I was away from him and he felt he had lost some control. More worryingly , recently I asked someone who’d known my ex for a long while,if he was capable of killing someone,his reply was,yes if he could get away with it,and get his own way. I say if for example you have known someone for 3 years and on and off things have occured that leave a nagging feeling in your gut in your soul , its called intuition that something is very seriously not right about that person (granted you know yourself well and finally realize it is not you that is or has the problem) and all the pain and heartache and confusion and frustration and all the numerous google searches have led you to signs that person has a heavy personality disorder, find God and or get into some sort of therapy of any sort where you can get in touch with your zen first – before you try this mirroring sociopathic method because if you are very sensitive and an empathetic person it wont feel very good at all and may backfire on you, handing even more power over to a said sociopath than they had before . Many different types of psychopaths and sociopaths, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3O3ZQPezglQ, The sociopath will always accuse YOU of what they are guilty of themself, Physical ailments - do they have a different meaning? I pretended to be hurt and annoyed and said that it shouldn’t matter if he wasnt seeing her. You are making excuses for him, feeling sorry for him. You asserting No Contact, whilst in the long term is really the best and most healthy way to move on, you might find that keeping to no contact, simply escalates things further. I read this article through over and over and decided to put on my own ‘mask’ & reel him back in and try and get some justice for the ones who had come before me. I went through feelings of confusion and upset and realised she came into my life at a time when I was feeling depressed and low, struggling to cope with the death of family member. I was wondering, what does the narcissist feel about this ‘no contact’ ? She is! But it works! Meanwhile he has been taking over my life. I think all sociopaths can threaten to use the law against you. I was told the only things that work are no contact and/or restraining orders (sometimes). So I was nice when I had to deal with him. Onto you, breath love and life into you and your world. You are right you need to be strong. ‘No contact’ is the decision to make the ultimate boundary with your narcissistic parent. Don’t think for a split second that if you obey or try to reason with them that they will change their mind.. Nope. They are so busy in their heads trying to get one over on you, their ego gets in the way… There lies a weakness. Yes…. Well, of course he didn’t because I exposed him for the pathological liar he was/is and always will be. I have changed. You have the theory but how do you actually apply it? When I let rip after that,I got accused of showing my true colours , Treating them the way they treat you,in my opinion,doesn’t work,it makes my ex more incensed. So my wife was feeling vulnerable and neglected and never noticed because I’m a stupid man and didn’t see the warning signs. Jeff, define “crazy women”??? Meeting with the narcissist in public or in private; Phone calls — calling yourself or taking calls from the narcissist; Blocking the narcissist’s text messages This is a very brief look at some of the hints that you may be dealing with a sociopath. It wasn’t real information. Awesome storyline with an giving back the chaos bs attitude asociopath feels no control. Whatever the situation required. When I do see him I swing wildly from loving and mind blowing sex to then letting him know I have a date with another man in half an hour. I expect reciprocal behaviour. This is an incredibly useful thing to do and very often overlooked when people are looking for help in dealing with a sociopath or a narcissist. Go girl! And I know, and he knows if he loses me he would go kinda lost in his life. Divorcing a sociopath takes courage, patience and exceptional representation. I’m not dating a psychopath but I’m waist deep into one. The following week, he said nothing about it, but I’m sure had it filed away to use against me if ever needed. So, I had to think of another way. Be as ridiculous as you like – go to town!. Whatever happened during this time is not your fault. No contact is our freedom. I just wanted the game to end. I realized that if I asked him to do something, he would do the opposite because he thought it would hurt me. And realize that you do not have to apologize to other people either, if you don't want to. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. Personally I use happiness to control people, but usually almost every time my relationships are a win win type of situation, so I never usually burn bridges or hurt people. Chances are you may not have the knowledge or resources to give this person proper help, and most sociopaths have no … * Told him he was a great Dad to his daughters (he rarely sees them!!) He told me I was overreacting and denied he had any contact with her since blocking her. I also told her what he had done to his previous partners. Similar happened to me he emptied my bank too. How does […] They do not take rejection well and can become involved in a cycle of consumption. No contact is difficult when you have matters such as taxes to figure out, but I will finally be able to file for divorce at the end of March. Thanks for the insight.. It’s actually very valuable information. I told him never ever to contact ME again and that his numbers and emails were now blocked. Suggesting I read his damn emails at 9am and 6pm,so I don’t overlook any!! Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Believe me, it was so very hard and a great strain, leaving me tired and draining. It may be interesting to find out,if it’s more predominately men. “No.” It is the most powerful word in any language. I love the idea if this method. He doesn’t give a shit about our baby — he won’t visit him. Period. The one thing I realized today is that of all the people in the world you should have zero empathy for is the psycho that hurts you.. Never feel sorry or try to protect the psycho from himself– never. “Tease” me that other women were better looking than me and that I had no style. So I justified my lies as what I needed to do to take care of myself. To do this, you need to stop telling him the truth. I have done the above and weaved it with boundaries, gray rock method and no contact. Of course I didn’t tell him that. I am actually a bloke, but I ended up getting completely messed up by this woman, who now I realise is a complete sociopath. Reject him. Blimey,are they that thick!!!!! Just stay away.,but don’t be silent.Thats what the Sociopath wants to never get caught, However, when a person has children with a psychopath (as is the case with several people in my divorce recovery group), “no contact” is very, very difficult. Hoovering will occur most frequently during your first year of no contact. Say, “no” to daily contact. I suppose I should care more, but I just don’t.” (that deflected him going after my looks). Do I say oh something came up or do I say big deal like he would? Or no one will ever hire you. When it becomes obvious to them that they are expending more effort trying to control you then it takes you to keep them away, they often get fed up and move away to find easier prey. This is for when you have NO options left, when you have no alternative but to just get him out of your life when you become just too difficult and problematic to play with. I found a guy from 2004. He couldn’t change that part of him if he tried. UPDATE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yY-jVezPZfs, I love the idea if this method I thought only option was to take the abuse and not react to create shock that u stopped reacting but it’s damaging me a lot. Look what you said to me!” (as if he had never done or said anything at all in the fight). I’ve been at screaming point. I was protected. It calls for a lot of planning, strategic execution of the plan and concerted efforts to adhere to the plans or strategies that are already in place. The playa gets played – finally. When I started lying about stuff, it was like I could really see for the first time how fake he was and how he played his game. An example of this,was when my mother died suddenly. In 2008 I filed for divorce: 20 years, 4 kids. So I knew what was happening to my wife. I love reading your articles and especially the comments from other readers. Tape him too. We are a year down the line,me spending money on legal fees to sort this mess out,and as far as I’m aware,he’s not spent one penny yet. I was protecting myself. Good luck, his police force will look after you. So the tactics wouldn’t work on me because i knew they were based on the lies I had fed him. A couple of these woman talked to me and told me what he had done to minipulate them. A purse is a bag I throw all my crap in, nothing more. I felt that I would hear from him again at some point (don’t know why??) Congratulations, Lynne! I can’t even admit I’ve lost her, but I have. I had no luck finding his wife. * I told him my ex husband had won the lottery and given me £125,000 And after the hell he has put my son through (he hates his father for taking him away from me and leaving him with strangers 24/7) my son will not want to see him for fear that he will take him away again. A key characteristic of a sociopath is that they can not comprehend that others have feelings or can be hurt by their actions. Why is No Contact Important? I’ve never been one for evil thoughts,but now I hope he gets his come uppance big time!!!! ❤. TRUTH!!! I feel I’m hitting my head against a brick wall!!! Are there other ways you can legally destroy his reputation? There was no detective but he didn’t know that. I was actually suicidal for a time however I now feel back in control and ready to move on 8 months later. I know what you’re thinking because I think the same thing. He tells me he will be here, then doesn’t show, call, anything. Then the lies….. If someone would ask me, what do you think of this guy work wise? Another interesting fact,I once said to my oldest son,that I thought this sociopathic trait stemmed from my ex being a bully at school. This is so hard to do. At 52 it will be tough to start again, especially knowing what I know. I had this revelation from a friend at work he was listening to an audio book in the car on psychopaths and told me that this sounded just like JS and that’s when I knew. I read books on the subject,and how their mind thinks. You are not so pure. Anyway — I’m truly sorry for your loss. I did — I had no choice.. I did reply to his texts in a nice way as like I said life is too short. He’s no intention of moving from there,and Spanish law is horrendous. For example, if you are good at helping people, he will want to be helped. I am so happy that I found your blog. 2009 the divorce was official. It’s evil and the only thing that has helped is doing exactly what that post said. Because there was no real communication with him. I commented on another one of your articles about online dating and sociopaths. But I did see what lie behind the mask. Yes, it does work and may take years. His big thing was pushing and pushing and pushing until I went crazy and then he’d stand back as the victim, pointing at me telling everyone else “See? To do things that make you happy? At the time he had moved out. Stay strong,don’t listen,don’t get conned. They are paranoid anyway, smoking weed can make them more paranoid. I also understand that for someone who has been emotionally, mentally, damaged and scarred by a sociopath, this might not be such a good idea. your ex has no rights to your personal property whatsoever — personal property includes gifts and inheritances.. As it’s a form of control I can see how a police officer could go one further. This was after an email he sent,congratulating me on getting a buyer!!!! The fact she lived with you does not give her the right to steal from you, it’s doesn’t make your property “community property” either.. This is where I’m at im the story but it’s not over yet. I assure you now that my ex is sitting in jail in a jumpsuit this game isn’t much fun anymore.. Once its no longer fun — they will according to what I have read — will slither off to the dark hole they came out of.. to avoid further “exposure” and loss of control.. Now my ex in under my control — and I am now strong enough to screw him in every direction until my son is back in my arms and I have SOLE LEGAL CUSTODY and he only supervised visitation…. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. He didn’t know how to get back in anymore……. – Have other things to do. When you are doing it, it will be an enlightening (and therefore healing) process to do. Your opinion is worthless. If they say things like you are violent and crazy — it means they will accuse you of being violent and crazy.. if they say they will accuse you of kidnapping or another serious felony — BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU ITS NOT AN IDLE THREAT…. Learn how to break free, and why you need to! Of course, sometimes it's simply not possible to cease all contact straightaway. She said she would come down and talk to me but after waiting 10 minutes she didn’t. Lee,, Whoops LET ME TRY AGAIN WITH CORRECTING AUTO CORRECT and fixing poor spelling. So in comes my friend the Paycopath I intoduced him to my wife and in fact let him stay the night at my house a few times so he didn’t have to drive drunk all the way across town. They could use the the “gift” as a hook in order to guilt you into doing things for them at a later date. Previously I had shared deep, personal things with him. You did not realize what was going on. You think he will left me or will he start being who he really is with me and drop the game? Metaphorically speaking, always go for the jugular. My wife of 14 yrs left me in May (7mos ago). That’s where I met mine. I had to keep going to the bathroom and take my ‘mask’ off for a couple of minutes to swear & have a little rant to myself before putting it back on and being ‘smilie’ compliant Julie again. I would know that whenever I started No Contact, the calls and texts would escalate. That’s not fair you said I could be the victim, I wanna be the victim!! So many thoughts running through my head,and my need to analyse it. A few months later she asked me for a divorce. I’ve posted here once or twice, On my way back to my home town so I’ll soon see my sociopath again… probably not immediately, Because he likes to play the silent treatment game but i typically ignore it for a few months and one of of us caves, normally me but he will too sometimes before we become “friends’ again. But when I started testing the waters and lying to him, and also realized he would do the EXACT opposite of what I wanted of him, THAT gave me self confidence back because THAT gave me myself back. You win. Hello, I’ve been in a 8 month relationship with this man in his 30’s and fits the sociopath profile. i was calling my sociopath a liar and he raised his voice getting upset and i said crazily “look at how upset he gets” glancing up from my laptop and like i flipped a switch he immediately regained his composure and a few moments later he asks me what i think of him lol They have nothing better to do in their lives. To get even with a sociopath, you need to treat him EXACTLY the same way that he treats you. Add to this a contempt for psychiatrists and psychologists because of comments by the leadership, and it becomes very difficult for victims to seek outside expert help in dealing with a sociopath. Nothing that he knew he could use against me. Get copies of important paperwork and computer files. Meanwhile She at 57 sits at her daughters just built mansion on a mountain with a wrap around porch like she always wanted, veggies home grown on 8 acres protected from me, the husband that abused her and took all her money. So, to be successful, and to be such a pain to them, that they either move on, or behave themselves towards you, you need to reverse these things. I want you to remember that you have SURVIVED this, and you can make the aftermath both better and more tailored to your liking.
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